Toucan

In a report published earlier this year by the Office for National Statistics, divorce rates in the UK were shown to have increased for the fourth year running. The report also explained that the age at which couples are divorcing is on the up, partly reflecting the age at which people today choose to tie the knot.

Thus, in a climate where cupid’s arrow seems to be getting lodged in all the wrong places, what does the future hold for divorcees left wondering how to re-enter the world of dating?

The internet is many people’s top choice of starting point, with its non-invasive, lifestyle-friendly demeanour, getting back into dating couldn’t be easier. The opportunity to build a rapport with people before meeting them is the unrivalled advantage of finding love online.

With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, millions of divorcees are logging on, looking for friends and often a new relationship to heal the wounds of a broken marriage. As with all things in life, some have a positive outlook, having abandoned all baggage and made a pact with themselves to start afresh, while others enter the dating arena with an air of caution after being burnt by past flames.
Whatever the case may be, there’s always a chance to find happiness online whether it be through casual dating and meeting new people, or dating with the intention of finding a soul mate.

Whichever way you choose to steer your search for love, we’ve some helpful advice to get you started because, as anyone who has joined the dating game after a divorce will know, it can be daunting even for the most confident among us.

Love hurts

We all know how painful it can feel when love slips away, whether it be through mutual agreement or otherwise. The way to get over such a loss involves acknowledging the emotions left behind, only then can you allow the healing process to begin.

Respect the healing process

Many of us are scared to cry when a relationship ends because we feel vulnerable and weak. A lot of people fear that if they let one tear fall, the tears will never end. Somehow we believe that if we push the pain down far enough it’ll disappear, when in fact we need to deal with it head on before we can allow ourselves to move on and find happiness with love again.

Avoid numbing the pain

A common mistake after divorce is to avoid experiencing the heartache and instead choosing to numb the pain with a series of non-committal relationships, and thus become a ‘serial dater’. Serial daters will go from one (often physical) relationship to the next, never allowing anyone to get close to them for fear of being hurt by love again. Thus, a serial dater’s heart is never truly open to new love until they allow themselves to embrace past heartache.

Starting Over

Once you have dealt with any unresolved emotions, it is important to begin to build up your sense of self-worth. This could be through treating yourself to a new look, taking up new hobbies, pursuing old hobbies, focussing on new personal life achievements. When you start to love yourself and learn to smile again, others will be naturally drawn to you.

Logging on

In order to ensure maximum dating success, daters need to make sure they are open to the possibility of new relationships when logging on. An easy way to judge this is to read the profile you upload to look for any signs of unprocessed emotions. These clues may be subtle or obvious, but you’ll see them if you read carefully.

Language

Positive language is important in your profile, photo captions, and in any messages you send. Don’t assume any relationship you encounter will mirror a previous failed relationship. If you ended up feeling unattractive and worthless at the end of your last relationship, take steps to reinforce your confidence (for example, through dating) and avoid projecting a low opinion of yourself onto others because they won’t necessarily think like your ex unless you guide them into that way of thinking!

Children

It is important to let potential dates know whether you have children. Some people will be put off by children, but at the same time, others won’t be. This is very much a personal thing, just as some people choose non-smokers over smokers. The key thing is not to take it personally.

Be Adaptable

When married, you may have settled into a routine. However, when meeting new people it is important to be willing and open to new ideas and lifestyles. This can seem daunting at first, but look at it as an exciting opportunity to experience a new side of life.

We hope the pointers above will help you begin dating after divorce. Thousands of divorcees are logging on right now so you’re certainly not alone. Join now for FREE and start searching thousands of singles in your area…